as inspired by The Economist, January 2009
based on my cat, Byron.
Reason #1: He’s an asshole.
Reason #2: He likes fish and ultimately that’s bad for greenhouse gases.
He’s ruining the planet.
Reason #3: If he could, he’d probably eat pig every day.
Pig farts are disastrous to the Ozone layer.
He’s totally ruining the planet.
Reason #4: YOU won’t be eating fish OR pig by eating him.
Reason #5: You can make your own clothes.
Don’t support sweatshop labor!
Reason #6: Why else have you been fattening him up with cat food?
Reason #7: It would be funny and terrible. Terribly funny!
Reason #8: If you scalp him, you’ll have an amazing hat with pointy kitty ears.
Reason #9: He’s plotting to kill you, you’ve gotta nip this in the bud.
Reason #10: Imagine all the wonderful hipster art you can create with cat bones.